Wednesday, 12 March 2014


I normally steer clear of this sort of thing, however it is the monkeys duty to report I have actually been making a bit of pocket money out of a site called , so far the princely sum of about £5 in two days (hey its a start). Its a combo of those survey sites you get which never let you take surveys, and those cashback sites that take forever to earn enough to cash out. Basically everything under one roof and the forums at money saving expert are all over it.

Top tips are to set up and use a dedicated email address so your regular email doesn't die of Spam poisoning, and do the Special Offers as they are by far the best payers, though another good tip is to open a browser window and "watch" videos in the background while surfing elsewhere.

Like I say it won't make you a millionaire but its probably worth a few quid if you have nothing better to do. OK end of chat, normal service of political and current affairs ranting interspersed with random pictures of my miniature scale model airforce will resume soon.

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Ryanair Passenger Revolt on Flight 8347

Two weeks ago a Ryanair flight from Standsted to Porto experienced an 11 hour delay, treated their passengers like utter shit denying them food, water and permission to leave the aircraft. Result was the passengers revolted and had to call the police to free them from the ordeal. Heres the footage, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

As of yet there has been no comment from professional bog trotter Michael O Leary, but I'll keep you posted

Ukraine Crisis - Letter to Shandy Billy Hague

Dear Mr Hague,

As the crisis in Ukraine deepens, can you explain to me why we are recognising the new government in Ukraine having seized power in a coup and featuring many members of far right parties including the Nacio Socialist Party of Ukraine? Mr Putin is quite right not to recognise the legitimacy of the new non democratically elected government, not that I condone his methods or believe his reasons are as noble as he claims, in fact I think it is a cynical excuse for a land grab.

Being an ethnic Latvian I have a better understanding than most of the issues surrounding Russians living in new states that were once part of the USSR, the fact that border cities often have majority ethnic Russian populations who refuse to integrate into their new society and refusal to learn the language is a major sore point, hence why Ukraines new government has outlawed the use of Russian on official documents. I have seen with my own eyes in Latvia, bar room brawls erupt purely because a couple of people are overheard speaking in Russian so I can well understand the depth of feeling of the Ukranian people.

The problem the Ukranians have as we saw time and again with the Arab Spring is revolutions don't necessarily promote change for the better, in this case they are stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don't think Ukranian citizens of any ethnicity deserve to be stuck in the middle of a civil war as is now the danger. 

In my opinion what the UK should do (and persuade our allies to do) is to call for immediate monitored national elections in the Ukraine and withhold recognition of the new government unless and until it has a democratic mandate. This on the condition that Mr Putin withdraws his troops from Crimea in lieu of a small UN peacekeeping force.

I have been hearing your talking tough on the news about economic sanctions and frankly, given how heavily we rely on Russian gas imports, I don't believe a word of it. I would be interested to know whether the feeling among your colleagues in Westminster is the same.

Yours Sincerely


Sunday, 2 March 2014

Now That Putin's Put The Boot In

Unless you are living under a rock you can hardly have missed the big news story of this week, after the Ukranians overthrow their government the Crimea gets filled with Russian troops to "protect the interests of Russians living in the region". Not that I support the Ukraine's new leadership either, the Ukranians have removed a government they didn't like and have foolishly placed a banker in charge instead who is only going to serve the interests of the IMF, because we can all see that ending well can't we.

As expected the usual suspects, Shandy Billy Hague, Badass Obama, Angry Merkel are all making disapproving noises and warning Moscow to pull its troops out - or else!

Putin - Or else what?

Shandy Bill - Or else we'll be very cross with you and we'll get the UN to write you a letter telling you how cross we are. And if you still won't comply we might do less trading with you in the future, you'll just have to find somewhere else to sell all that cheap gas to. And if that doesn't work then, well, erm, you do have a rather big standing army, and you probably have a few nukes stashed away in the Urals that we don't know about, we'll get back to you on that one.

So as usual normal everyday people are the ones stuck in the middle, in this case the ones in Ukraine whether Ukranian, Russian, Georgian, Chechen, or Nepalese. They don't want a war, they might die or their house might get blown up, at the very least they'll have to have a few weeks off work without pay. Unfortunately a war is what they are going to get, its more or less an inevitablility. They are trapped between greedy Russian expansionists and greedy western Banksters. Its unlikely western nations troops will get involved, this is Russia we're talking about, not some two bit oil sheikh we can push about  with a few drone strikes, what will happen is a Syria situation. So my message to people in the affected areas is get out now its not worth staying, don' let politicians play chess with your lives.

In the meantime here is the complete history of the USSR set to the music of Tetris.

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Harriet Harman Loves Paedophiles

This week certain facts have come to light surrounding Harriet Harmans position within the National Council for Civil Liberties (the forerunner of Liberty) in the 1970s, along with her husband Jack Dromey and former Labour cabinet member Patricia Hewitt. During this period the NCCL was heavily connected with a particularly odious organisation known as the Paedophile Information Exchange (PIE). In this era, homosexual rights were a very public issue, homosexual activity hadn't long since earned you a prison sentence and it was now the issue of choice for large numbers of "right on" campaigners. PIE very cynically used this public feeling to try and further their own agenda and guess what? The NCCL were taken in hook line and sinker, affiliating with them and campaigning on their behalf. I'll let the Daily Mails original article fill you in with the sordid details here

Since this story has hit Horrible Harperson has been shouting and screaming in the press at the top of her little lungs about smear campaigns and attempt to damage her *ahem good character. Funnily enough when the truth was coming out about Jimmy Saville and the systemic abuse that was carrying on seemingly unchecked, Harperson was one of the loudest voices calling for full investigations and historic prosecutions and no stone shall be left unturned. Somehow all of that gusto for getting to the truth about paedophilia scandals dating back to, oh lets say, the late 70's has disappeared entirely. Of course Harriet Harpersons previous good character is debatable, who can forget her starring role in the 2009 MP's expenses scandal?

Shami Chakrabarti the current director of Liberty has, since these allegations came to light, poured through all the documents of this era and has issued a full and heartfelt apology for this shameful period in Liberty's history. Harriet Harman perhaps its time you did the same?

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Floods and Stuff

So here we are then, once again half of the UK (happily not my half) is under 2 foot of water, all the usual factions are screaming "Climate Change" and "Something must be done" and "We're Doomed! Marooned!" (Pvt Fraser voice), politicians are visiting affected areas and looking at flood water with solemn faces, Labour are blaming the Tories, Tories are blaming LibDems, LibDems are blaming themselves, Greens are blaming everyone else, UKIP are blaming brown people, ducks are having a field day, and Mrs Goggins of 22 Washout Drive, Lower Soggington is wondering just how long it will take for her Berber to dry out.

There is a solution to all these floods, an innovation which has the potential to protect every coastal area from the destructive power of floods and it lies in a small coastal city in South Wales. The Swansea Bay Tidal Lagoon is a project which if it goes ahead, will be able to generate over 100 Megawatts of electricity by forcing the rising tide waters through turbines as it enters the lagoon at high tide, and releasing the water from the lagoon back through turbines at low tide. Given that the UK has the second biggest tidal range in the world it is a bit of a no brainer that we should be harnessing the power of the tides in this way. However apart from generating electricity this lagoon has another use, in the event of heavy rains theatening floods, the government will be able to pay lagoon operators to stop generating and hold the water level in the lagoon low in order to provide capacity for this excess water to drain away to, then once the lagoon is full it is simply emptied out to sea at low tide. Imagine a network of lagoons in key positions along our coastlines, generating thousands of Megawatts of power whilst providing peace of mind for the people unfortunate enough to live in the path of floodwaters.

The best part is if these tidal lagoons get rolled out nationwide we won't need to let Cuadrilla, Cluff Energy and their pals tear up the countryside to get at the shale gas. And the best best part, when gas runs out in 60 years and this form of generation has developed and matured, we can sell electricity back to the Russians for twice as much as they used to sell us the gas.

Swansea Bay Tidal Lagoon you have the Evil Monkey seal of approval, God bless you and all those who swim, jetski, and snorkel in you.

Swansea Bay Tidal Lagoon

I Will Never be a Non Smoker

Ok so the monkey has stopped with the ciggies for just over two years now, and with a baby monkey running around the place now its looking likely this state of affairs will be permanent. Health wise I feel a bit better though I was coughing up huge quantities of brown shit for months after stopping, what is more gratifying is I am now keeping about £1000 a year in tobacco duty in my own pocket and away from that grabbing bastard the chancellor of the ex-bloody-chequer (to paraphrase Alf Bradshaw). So all well and good.

Now the problem with this is when I picture a stereotype of a non smoker I see a nauseating cretin who is staunchly anti smoking and expects the rest of the world to think in the same way. A person who when faced with a smoker feels the need to start reeling off statistics about how stupid you are. Well balls to that, so from this day forth I am a smoker who only chooses not to smoke tobacco. I fully defend the right of the informed individual to make their own choices about what they put into their bodies, and celebrate the pleasure they derive from that.

With regard to public health we truly live in a fascist state nowadays. Years of social engineering have tried to create the sense that bad health whether that be obesity drinking or smoking are all antisocial behaviors and to be frowned upon. Then we get the lobbyists wanting smokers to pay for their own healthcare when they get ill, the smoking ban removing the freedom of landlords and restauranteurs from deciding what their customers can and can't do in their own businesses, and the labelling of smokers as dirty, disgusting and tantamount to social lepers by every government department who has a say. If we were heroin addicts we'd get treatment, healthcare, "counselling" and a myriad of other benefits, smokers just get treated like shit for wanting to be left alone to enjoy one of lifes small pleasures.

Besides the only reason for all these public health campaigns is to keep us all healthy little taxpayers so the state can work us to death for longer. I'll be reminding everyone about this in my late 70s when my generation will finally be permitted to retire.